Question
Atualizado em
16 jul 2016
- Japonês
-
Inglês (EUA)
Pergunta sobre Inglês (EUA)
I wrote a claim letter to practice write in English. Could you tell me if there are any grammatical errors or any wired words in the sentences below?
I am writing this letter to complain that the goods we received from your company have not been supplied properly. About two weeks ago, we bought ten units of Apple-27 iMac® from your company. However, we found that two of them do not boot correctly.
This time, we invested in increasing units of computers in our office because we newly hired ten employees last week. Some of our employees have to wait until someone finishes using a computer. Moreover, some of them have to use their own laptop if there is no available computer. We think this causes less productivity in our office. We hope that this unfavorable situation should be resolved before entering a busy season for next month.
We keep both the receipt and the warranty after we purchased the computers from your company. We reviewed the warranty and it states that a deficit of items must be replaced a new item or repaired with no charge if it was purchased within twelve months. Therefore, we hope that we will receive other computers as soon as possible.
I would like you to know as soon as possible you can pick the deficit computers up at our office and deliver the new computers. I look forward to hearing from you by return.
I wrote a claim letter to practice write in English. Could you tell me if there are any grammatical errors or any wired words in the sentences below?
I am writing this letter to complain that the goods we received from your company have not been supplied properly. About two weeks ago, we bought ten units of Apple-27 iMac® from your company. However, we found that two of them do not boot correctly.
This time, we invested in increasing units of computers in our office because we newly hired ten employees last week. Some of our employees have to wait until someone finishes using a computer. Moreover, some of them have to use their own laptop if there is no available computer. We think this causes less productivity in our office. We hope that this unfavorable situation should be resolved before entering a busy season for next month.
We keep both the receipt and the warranty after we purchased the computers from your company. We reviewed the warranty and it states that a deficit of items must be replaced a new item or repaired with no charge if it was purchased within twelve months. Therefore, we hope that we will receive other computers as soon as possible.
I would like you to know as soon as possible you can pick the deficit computers up at our office and deliver the new computers. I look forward to hearing from you by return.
I am writing this letter to complain that the goods we received from your company have not been supplied properly. About two weeks ago, we bought ten units of Apple-27 iMac® from your company. However, we found that two of them do not boot correctly.
This time, we invested in increasing units of computers in our office because we newly hired ten employees last week. Some of our employees have to wait until someone finishes using a computer. Moreover, some of them have to use their own laptop if there is no available computer. We think this causes less productivity in our office. We hope that this unfavorable situation should be resolved before entering a busy season for next month.
We keep both the receipt and the warranty after we purchased the computers from your company. We reviewed the warranty and it states that a deficit of items must be replaced a new item or repaired with no charge if it was purchased within twelve months. Therefore, we hope that we will receive other computers as soon as possible.
I would like you to know as soon as possible you can pick the deficit computers up at our office and deliver the new computers. I look forward to hearing from you by return.
Respostas
16 jul 2016
Featured answer
- Inglês (EUA)
Hello!
Your letter sounds good, but you could add a few adjustments.
The sentence "This time, we invested in increasing units of computers in our office because we newly hired ten employees last week" this sentence could be changed to "This time, we invested in increasing units of computers in our office because we recently hired ten new employees last week.". The next sentence, "should", should be replaced with "can". "We keep both the receipts...." should be changed to "We kept both of the receipts and the warranty after we purchased the computers for your company.". The second to last sentence should be changed slightly to "I would like you to know as soon as possible, so you can pick the defective computers up at our office and deliver the new computers." As for the last sentence "by return" isn't needed.
I wish you the best of luck learning English, and I am sorry I cannot reply in Japanese!
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