Is the second sentence correct?
The news of her sudden departure reached Raja’s door through a letter. She wrote that she promised to return in December
Is this one correct: She wrote that she promised to return in December. ?

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Proofread, please. This story is also on lang-8, so you can proofread there as well. Here is the link: http://lang-8.com/945171/journals


A Dream that didn’t Come True
Author: Rizwan Ahmed Memon

A true spirit of serving humankind makes one so brave that one fears from nothing and nobody. People who risk their lives and do dangerous works to benefit human beings are real friends of God and His beloved mortals. Ronak, a social worker, had also put his life at risk. He worked for women’s education in Sindh province of Pakistan where education was considered something that spoils girls.

Ronak started his struggle in Larkana. His target was the rural areas of Larkana. He took his necessary electronics, like a projector, laptop, mobile, and calculator. He would conduct seminars at Otaqs (guest rooms in villages where people sit and chat in their free time). He would raise awareness among villagers about women’s rights and their status in Islam.

Ronak reached a village named Dahani where people were not interested in education at all. The men would stay at home and make the women do the chores, graze the cattle, work in the fields, and look after children. Ronak had never seen this kind of rule anywhere else before. He wasn’t even allowed to enter the village because no strangers could enter the village. He saw that mostly men were wearing Sindhi caps and were having beards. He couldn’t find anybody who could understand him and help him.

He was sad and tired. Around the village were gardens of olives, so he decided to go into a garden and eat some olives. He plucked some olives and sat under an olive tree to eat and relax. He saw that some buffaloes were grazing, but there was no one with them.

“Hey, who are you? And what are you doing here? asked a woman who was in the top of the tree under which Ronak was sitting.

Ronak got freaked out. He looked around; but there was no one. The women threw an olive at him.

“Hello! Look up.”

“Oh, sorry. I am Ronak. I am new in this village.”

“Go back wherever you have come from! Strangers are not allowed here. If any man of this village sees you, he will kill you in the name of honour-killing. He will think that you were chasing me, and even he might think that there was any affair between us, so he will kill me, too.”

“I am a social worker. I work for the education of girls.”

“Oh, really. I had a dream in my childhood of getting education, but that didn’t come true.”

“Oh, why?”

“That is a long story. Well, my name is Roshni. In our tribe girls are not allowed to go to school. That’s what I have been hearing since my childhood, Roshni said to Ronak.

“But I can admit you to school.”

“I am now too old to go to school.”

“There is no age limit for learning.”

“Well, there must be different values in your tribe. That’s very contrary to the rules of this village. I will have to leave this place before anybody sees me.”

“Listen, wait a second!”

“Sorry. I cannot.” Roshni left with her buffaloes.

Ronak was facing difficulties in that village. He would go to Larkana where he had reserved a room in a hotel, and come to Dahani in the morning. It was not so far from the city.

The next day, Ronak came to the same garden to find Roshni. As he approached the garden, he could hear a sad song in a woman’s voice.

“Week, powerless creature I am.
He says you were born to work.
My Lord is that true?
I don’t think so.”

Listening to these sentences sang in a heart-touching voice, Ronak got goose bumps. He traced the footsteps which led him to the same olive tree under which he met Roshni the day before. Roshni was sitting on a branch and there was a cloth on which she was doing needle work and was singing along.

“He shattered my dreams.
He snatched my childhood dolls.
And handed over me things
That I couldn’t do well.”

Ronak didn’t disturb her. He sat at a little distance and listened what she sang.

“You have a beautiful voice.”

“Oh my God! You have come again! What do you want?

“I want you to go to school.?

“Are you crazy? You, a strange man will send me to school?

“Yes. I can.”

“See, I have already told you that if someone finds us talking together, he will kill both of us. You better leave.”

“I am afraid of nobody.”

Roshni was confused and afraid. She quickly gathered the buffaloes and left the garden.

Ronak everyday came to the garden, and tried to talk to Roshni. He somehow motivates her for going to school.

“But it feels very awkward to sit with little children in a class.”

“You want to get an education, right?”

“Yes.”

“So for that, you will have to attend the class.”

“My family won’t approve of it. They didn’t allow me to go during my childhood; why would they do it now?”

“You are now grown-up. You have right to make your own decisions.”

“In our tribe, girls do not make any decisions. Not even of their own marriage. My father and brother didn’t even ask me whether I was happy or not when they decided my marriage. However, my husband is a kind man. He cares for me. He is very different from the men in our tribe. He respects women.”

“Will he allow you to attend school?”

“I am sure he will.”

“Shall I talk to him?

“No, it is not appropriate. Maybe he will not like this.”

“Look, dark is falling, and the buffaloes are moving to town now. I will meet you tomorrow.”

“Okay. I will wait for you.”