Questions about example sentences with, and the definition and usage of "Billy"

Other questions about "Billy"

Q: Billy Joel, the famous American songwriter and performer one said 'music in itself is healing. it's an explosive expression of humanity. its something we are all touched by. no matter what culture we are from everyone loves music. usually when people consider what they can do to fight of cold relief pain or alleviate mental illness the first thing that comes to our mind are to take over the counter drugs are prescribed medications. however the cure to these and many other infirmities can be found in our own phones. music in its many forms can be used as a healing instrument. while it may not completely eliminate the need for drugs it's possible that music therapy can accompany medical drug used in order to lessen the amount of potentially harmful medications often consumed by the patients. nowadays more and more researchers are finding that the health benefits of music go beyond mental health and as a result some else experts are calling for music therapy to be more widely incorporated into the Healthcare set
Q: Dear Billy

I receive an e-mail dated March 15 entitled Membership Drive.
I would like to make two suggestions and explain one problem.
Firstly, why don't we reduce our membership fee? I've heard several members who quit our club last year that the membership fee is a little expensive.
Secondary, I recommend that you throw a commercial on the English Language Learner. I think the paper is popular who want to learn English conversation.
And I have a problem. I have to move from New York to Boston next month. So, I'm afraid I can't stay the member. I'm so ashamed.

Best regards,

Atsushi
soa natural?
A: ​‎”Dear Billy,

I received an e-mail dated March 15 entitled Membership Drive.
I would like to make two suggestions and explain one problem.
Firstly, why don't we reduce our membership fee? I've heard several members quit our club last year because the membership fee is a little expensive.
Secondly, I recommend that you put up an advertisement on the English Language Learner newspaper. I think the paper is popular among those who want to learn English conversation.

As for the problem, I have to move from New York to Boston next month. So, I'm afraid I can't stay as a member. I'm so sorry.

Best regards,

Atsushi”

This is very good! Almost natural, but still easy to understand.

Let me explain my corrections:
1) Greetings traditionally have a comma at the end: “Dear Billy,”
2) “receive” needs to be in past tense “received” because the action is completed.
3) “who” is unnecessary here.
(In Japanese, perhaps something like: “やめた会員と聞いた” instead of 会員がやめたと聞いた)
4) “that” should be “because”
5) “Secondly” is correct. We use it for lists (firstly, secondly, thirdly...). Secondary is an adjective meaning “not as important” (二次的)
6) “put up an advertisement” is a phrase. Also, commercials are for television and radio, advertisements are for newspapers. (Advertisements can also be used when talking about TV or radio, but newspapers never have commercials.)
7) I added “newspaper” to be clearer.
8) “and I have a problem” sounds a little strange. The new sentence sounds more natural to me.
9) “the” should be “as” (if you want to say 会員としてとどまることができません in Japanese)
10) “ashamed” is a very strong feeling in English. Usually we would apologize simply with something like “I am very sorry”

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